What is Authenticity? And how do we show up more authentically in our personal, work, and online lives.
Authenticity is about living in a way that aligns our beliefs and values and personality and putting it out in our personal, work, and online lives.
This is similar to integrity which is matching what we do with who we say we are and what we say.
When we think about authenticity, many of us think of showing up with boldness and genuineness. Many others think of being confident in who they are, and this matches with their self-awareness. When we show up authentically, we are grounded in who we are and how we show up in the world around us.
Authenticity is one of our greatest connectors, and yet can be so difficult for us in our online spaces and in our in-person lives.
Why is that? What are some of the reasons we don't show up authentically?
What are some obstacles that can cause us to hold back on our authenticity?
- Imposter Syndrome: it’s hard to show up authentically when we feel like an imposter. When we feel like we don’t belong in the rooms and spaces we find ourselves in, we don’t show up in authenticity.
- Burnout: (talk about the burnout reset): when we’re burnt-out it’s so hard to keep showing up and putting ourselves out there. We want to withdraw and pull back. We’re exhausted and overwhelmed. So often in this case, we either put on a mask, or we don’t show up at all.
- Fear of Judgement/Rejection: it can be so hard to know how others will perceive us. Even being perceived at all can be a struggle. That fear & unknown can cause us to put on a mask of what we think others will want to see.
- Identity Struggles: if we don’t know ourselves, how can we possibly be authentic in life? Getting to know and love ourselves is one of the best ways to begin to be authentic (and being authentic can have a drastic effect on how we know and love ourselves, too).
- Negativity: when we encounter criticism and trolling, we often want to pull back. When someone we know does judge us for who we are and who we show the world, it’s so tempting to put those masks back on.
- Comparison: when we get caught up in the comparison game, we can be tempted to be like others, instead of showing up as ourselves.
How can we begin to show up more authentically?
- Self-reflection: getting to know ourselves, including the little things like what we like, what we don't like, up to bigger things like our values. It's so much easier to find "our people" when we show up as our authentic selves. This allows people who don't mesh with us to move on and gives space for those who do.
- Setting boundaries: we get to set boundaries around what we show to whom and when doesn't make us inauthentic. Instead, it allows us to connect with genuine connection and to keep true to ourselves. Setting boundaries around our lives, our families, our work, our future is a way we move with genuineness in the world.
- Exploring our values: a bit deeper self-reflection. What do we stand for and want to be a part of? What do we think is important in this life? When we embrace and explore our values, we are able to set boundaries around them and speak on them with confidence and boldness.
- Embracing our imperfections: when we embrace things about ourselves that aren't perfect or not like everyone else, we begin to love ourselves in spite of them. We can share them with the world with or without the intent to change them.
- Celebrating our uniqueness and little victories: this allows us to start feeling more gratitude with our lives and our situations. This can lead to hope, resilience, and grit. When we have hope, resilience, and grit, we don't shy away or pull back. We show up fully as ourselves.
- Stop the comparison game: We can start to genuinely encourage others and genuinely connect with other people. We begin to love ourselves for who we are and allowing others to do the same.
If someone relates to all of this, that’s one of the reasons I do what I do. It’s so important for moms - and women in general - to prioritize or make time for their mental health. That can include showing up in the world authentically.
As a mental wellness coach for women focused on communication & boundaries, resilience & role fatigue, identity & confidence, and deconstruction & reconstruction, I help my clients show up authentically in their personal, work, and online lives.
The big goal is to help the clients I work with find their ways to a peaceful, fulfilled life. Just where they are, as they are.
